


A Lonely Christmas

by Elysxan_dxeam



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Batfamily, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Special, F/M, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Jason Todd-centric, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:34:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28308354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elysxan_dxeam/pseuds/Elysxan_dxeam
Summary: It's Christmas and Y/n's alone in New York trying to find the Jason she knew before he died. And for the first time since she left Gotham she's starting to wonder if Jason even wants to be found.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Reader, Jason Todd/Reader, Red hood/ Reader
Kudos: 33





	A Lonely Christmas

This was the first Christmas eve in a long time that Y/n wasn't sitting in Wayne manor, snuggled up by the fire. It was the first time since she met the Wayne’s that she wasn't there to help Dick and Alfred set up the tree, Or bake that stupid candy cane brownie thing that Tim loved, or forcing Bruce out of the cave for a cheesy movie.

Instead she was sitting on the rooftop of some New York building. Snow fluttered down around her, covering the bright streets in a thin layer of white. Cars sped down the roads and people raced from store to store, buying last minute presents.

Something sank in the pit of her heart and a frown tugged at her lips. She loved spending Christmas with the bat family. They always went all out. Well, Alfred and Dick did.

But this Christmas was different. That part of her that wanted to be with her friends back in Gotham was pushed aside by her need to bring Jason home. She needed him to come home.

Y/n sighed heavily, her warm breath coming out in little white clouds. Her face was growing cold and even the warmth of her suit was starting to fail against the brisk wind. Her eyes scanned the rooftops around her one last time before she gave up.

If Jason was coming he would have been here by now.

She wasn't surprised. She knew the chances of him coming to meet her were slim. He was so lost in his head, so convinced that he didn't deserve the good she had to offer. But still she kept chasing him, praying that the person she knew before he died was still in there.

Y/n licked her cold lips as she leaned down and pressed her finger into the fresh snow. She dragged her finger through the snow, spelling out a message that would barely last two hours in this weather.

With one last swirl she stood up. 

_"You know where to find me if you change your mind. Merry Christmas. -Y/n."_

Her head dropped as disappointment filled her heart. She knew she shouldn't get her hopes up when it came to him but she couldn't help it. How was she just supposed to forget the memories she had of him.

She pushed aside her thoughts as she turned and left.

The subtle glow of colorful Christmas lights illuminated the dark motel room. A small fake tree sat atop the coffee table, wrapped in glittering tinsel and golden ornaments. A black and white movie played on the old box tv, casting shifting shadows across her blank face.

She sat on the couch, her knees drawn to her chest and her hands holding a mug of very alcoholic hot chocolate. She felt cold even as she sat inside the warm motel room.

She had never spent Christmas Eve alone before. She always had someone, but not this time, and that only showed her what she was missing. Every bone in her body wanted to be snuggled up on the sofa at the manor, watching the flames eat at the sweet smelling kindling. She wanted to see Tim's eyes light up as she gave him an early gift.

What made it so much worse was this was the first year that her and Dick were more than just friends. This was the year she could kiss him under the mistletoe that he always insisted on hanging.

This was the first time since she started chasing after Jason that she was actually regretting it.

_"You can't save someone who doesn't think they need saving."_ Bruce had told her that the night before she left.

God, she wished she had listened to him.

Jason didn't want her help, he had made that pretty clear. But still, here she was, sitting in a motel room miles away from home.

Y/n blinked away the tears in her eyes as she brought the mug to her lips. The hot chocolate had cooled and the smell of baileys grew stronger. She welcomed the sweet alcoholic taste, silently praying it'd warm the ice in her chest.

There was a quiet click before a rush of cold air attacked her warm skin. She didn't have to look back to know who it was. She sank down in her seat and fiddled with the mug in her hands. 

"I didn't think you were going to show." She said softly.

A small click came from Jason as he pressed a button on his helmet and pulled it from his head. "I wasn't going too." His voice was husky yet somehow it was calming.

Y/n gulped as she forced herself to look over at him. He stood in front of the closed window, the streetlight casting a halo around his shadowed body. His blue eyes were nearly black in the darkness but still she could see the uncertainty in them.

Something in her chest tightened and it felt like the oxygen was being sucked from her lungs. Her throat tightened but a contempt feeling wormed its way into her heart.

He stepped into the room, letting the colorful array of lights illuminate his pale skin. His blue eyes drifted across the lights that were strung around the room. His gaze landed on the small Christmas tree and for a second she swore he smiled.

"Did you do all of this?" He asked and met her gaze.

Y/n nodded slowly and forced her lips into a tight smile. "I've always loved Christmas."

"I remember." Jay muttered so quietly she would have missed it if she wasn't so focused on him.

"You always hated it." She muttered as her eyes fell to the mug in her hands.

"Not it." Jason scoffed. "Just what it reminded me of." 

Y/n eyes darted up to meet his. She didn't have to ask to know what he was talking about. He spent his childhood on the streets of Gotham, nobody cared about him, nobody loved him, and that didn't change just because of a holiday.

She sighed softly as she placed her mug on the table and tucked her legs under herself. "But you're not alone anymore Jay."

He looked up at her, the muscle in his jaw twitched as his eyes darkened. "We both know you're going to leave the moment you get tired of me."

Her heart constricted and she quickly shook her head. "I won't." 

She rose to her feet and closed the space between them. Jason went rigid, his eyes watching her intently like he was preparing for an attack.

"You have before." He lowered his gruff voice.

Y/n furrowed her brows and sadness tainted her eyes. "I didn't leave you, Jay." She spoke barely above a whisper.

His eyes softened and for a moment she saw his heart behind all of his anger. His sadness, pain, regret, it all just swirled up inside of his body, erupting out in this wild frenzy of fury and hate. 

She reached her hand up and cupped his cheek. His skin was cool beneath her fingertips and day old stubble pricked at her fingers. "I'm not leaving you Jay, ever again." She whispered.

His dark eyes reflected the blue, red, and green Christmas lights. They twinkled like stars in his iris, and suddenly Y/n forgot everything. It was just him and her in that moment, mere centimetres separating them.

Jason gulped as his eyes traveled between hers. In a split second he had his chapped lips pressed to her. Her eyes fell shut and she leaned into the kiss. Jason's warm hands snaked around her waist, pulling her body flush against his.

She slid her hand around to the back of his neck, tangling her fingers in his short black hair. Everything around her faded away until all Y/n could feel, hear, taste, was Jason.

She slowly pulled her lips away from his, feeling him catch her bottom lip with his teeth in a weak attempt to keep her there. She licked her lips and her eyes fluttered open, meeting Jason's sultry gaze.

His chest was rising and falling with heavy, quick breaths, and his pupils were blown wide. He didn't move, barely blinked, almost like he was afraid that it would all just vanish if he closed his eyes.  
But she wasn't going anywhere ever again and she needed him to know that.

Y/n looked up at Jay through her long lashes as she trailed her hands from his hair to the label of his leather jacket. She slipped her fingers beneath the heavy leather and slid the jacket down his shoulders.

Jason's body tensed before his eyes rounded slightly. He pulled his hands away from her hips and let the jacket fall to the floor before he reached for the hem of his tee shirt. 

Y/n breath hitched in her throat as she watched Jason tug the shirt over his head.

His muscular torso was laced in pinkish scars. The Lazarus pit had healed his wounds but small scars were left behind like a bitter reminder of what happened. 

She gingerly reached out and traced his scars. She knew the stories attached to some of them. Like the small white scar on his left cheek was from Jokers crowbar, and the one on his right bicep was from her before she knew he was the Red Hood.

She looked up at Jay as she flattened her hand against his abs and slowly slid it back up to his neck.

She leaned forwards, brushing her lips against his. Jason leaned into the kiss, pulling her bottom lip between his. His warm hands slipped beneath the hem of her shirt and slowly slid up her back.  
A shiver ran down her spin as her skin was exposed to the cool air. He pulled back from the kiss as he pulled the shirt over her head and tossed it aside.

His lips quickly crashed back into hers and she welcomed them.

Sunlight warmed Y/n’s face, stirring her from her deep sleep. She closed her eyes tighter, trying to block the light out. She was warm in her bed. The soft cotton sheets were pressed into her silky skin and the heavy weight of the blanket warmed her bones.

She slowly opened her eyes and blinked away the sleep. Sunlight shone through the window, basking the whole room in a pale golden glow. It was nice until she noticed the lack of body heat.  
Y/n’s heart sank as she rolled onto her other side. Her eyes fell upon an empty bed and a small folded piece of paper left on her pillow.

A part of her was angry at him for leaving, but the other part knew he was never going to stay. Her night with him had been a gift, one she wasn't likely to get again.

Jason didn't let people in, he never did, her and Bruce had been the only exceptions. Then he died and he lost his faith in Bruce, and he shut her out. But no matter how hard he tried she knew he'd always love her.

Y/n grabbed the folded piece of paper from the pillow. Something heavy fell from it and sunlight glittered off of the metal. It was a silver bullet shell hung from a simple chain.

A smile worked its way onto her reddened lips as she held the necklace in her hand. The metal was cool against her palm. She turned it over in her hand and her eyes landed on a small engraved Jay and Y/n.

She chuckled softly as she closed her fist around the necklace and turned her attention to the letter. She unfolded the piece of paper, her eyes landing on Jason's rushed handwriting.

_Y’n,_

_Last night you reminded me what it was like to be human. You showed me a part of myself that I buried away. I felt normal again and you were the one to give that to me. Thank you Y/n, and Merry Christmas._

_-Jason_

She smiled softly as she folded the note back up and laid back into the warm bed. "Merry Christmas Jay." She hummed as she fiddled with the silver bullet.


End file.
